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I have neglected my blog for the entire summer, but alas I return! Blogs are still a bit of an odd concept for me. I rarely let people get a glimpse of what truly goes on in my head. Whether that’s because I fear they may explode from pure chaos that waits within, or perhaps I just don’t like people being able to get too close to me. Anyone who knows me well knows I’m weary of letting new people close to me. The closer people are the more opportunity they have to hurt or use you in some way. I know what you’re thinking “that’s pretty cynical perception on life” but for me it is just about protecting my feelings and emotions…. Yes I’m actually admitting to having those.
As I grow older it gets easier to open up to people, and I feel I have a better understanding of where others are coming from as well. More people then not have a story of hardship, and each person tries to out do the other with how bad they have had things, and then use the problems they encountered in the past as an excuse or justification for the situation they are in now. Life in my eyes is all about choices; those choices are ALWAYS in your hands. Yes certain elements may arise where you feel forced to do something you otherwise would not do. But that decision was ultimately made by you. The consequences following are a direct result of your decision at that particular moment. There is always more then one avenue of choice.
Almost everything on this planet that moves, whether it is water, fire, smoke, humans, animals, insects, lava, and plants. Each will take the easiest more unobstructed path. Water never flows up stream, if an object is in its way it will go around. Fire burns where it will thrive the best, and animals can compare almost identically to humans when it comes to their movements. One day just stop and watch large crowds during rush hour, if there is a line of doors and all the doors are closed (not locked) but one door is held open the entire crowed will attempt to use that one door.
This same thought process is used when making decisions for ones self. The easiest solution is avoidance or playing a victim role. There by making other feel bad for you, all the while your using an event that put you where you stand at that moment.
This is the exact reason I have very little sympathy for almost all homeless people. And people who play the victim role and subsequently sit on their ass collecting government money, which I may add I am paying for. In my honest opinion (which many disagree with,) unless you suffer for a mental condition or a medical condition that entirely prevents you from functioning in society, you have no reason to be begging for hang outs and living on the streets. And you always hear the same excuses ranging from “I came from a broken home” to “I cant find a job” which are not valid at all.
We live in a country that for the most part has a solid social system, which provides assistance to get people off the streets and into homes. The only stipulation is the person in need has to take the incentive to obtain this help. But more times then not it’s more attractive to use past mistakes, or occurrences as a reason for living on the street or collecting welfare or disability.
Yes life at times sucks, things rarely go how we want or plan. But the trick is when something bad does happen, when an obstacle blocks your path to your original goal. You must adapt, analyze the situation and make alternative plans. You may not be able to meet your original goal as envisioned, and hard decisions may have to be made. But in the long term putting forth that extra bit of work will benefit you. And who knows maybe being forced into a new direction will put you in a position where you end up with more then you had ever expected.
This is ultimately the philosophy I have enacted into my own life. I realize I may not get what I want but the amount of energy I waste dwelling on what I could have had, and why I did not get it and what I should have done differently, could have been used to devise a new plane and discover new opportunities I had never even considered.
In a way this entire thing counters itself, people who start off determined and work hard moving towards their aspirations become the lazy ones because when that wall gets in their way, they try to climb it, even though it is impossible to get over the top. However the people who work with the way use very little effort and gain more, by simply going around and changing course.
The point in all this is I have every chance to pull the victim card, and subsequently c collect government money and sit on my ass for the rest of my life. But if I did that I would miss all the new experiences life has thrown at me. I would never have learned have I know, or met the people I have met.
True there have been hard times, times where giving up would have been nice. But in the grand scheme of things I would have been even more miserable, because I know what I am capable of, and achieving anything less really deeply upsets me. To an extent I do care allot about how others perceive me, I take pride in who I am and where I came from and how I got to where I am now despite all the challenges.
Every year I set goals for myself, I chose ones that are always accomplishable and never try to cram them into an unobtainable time slot.
2008 I made the following goals: Regain control of finances by May> accomplished by June with 700 in savings and a steady job. Make decisions on future career moves by Aug > I have held the same job for a year and a half and am considered one of the best at what I do, I am also well respected by my peers and have the ability to move up. Become entirely independent by moving out on my own or with roommates by Aug > completed in September.
As of November 1st 2008 I have made a new list of goals spanning from Nov ’08 to Aug ‘09
-Mid December have a saving balance of $300
-February be promoted, or making 10% more then present
-March savings of $1000
-June re-obtain a driver’s license
-Mid July savings of $1600 > some invested, Start process of opening a bussnes.
-Start of Aug by means of exercise and diet build body weight to 140lbs
